Looks can be deceiving, and attraction runs deeper than pretty faces and fine physiques. I’ve seen beauties and I’ve seen beasts. Yet many times what’s pretty on the outside is uglier on the inside; what you first thought was fine in the beginning turned out to be foul in the end. Why? Because our perception of beauty runs deeper than skin. Attraction is a holistic enterprise.
However, these experiences are largely subjective and vary between people based on their personal preferences and value systems. In other words, in the economy of love—chemistry can get complicated. As triune beings we occupy three domains of existence simultaneously, independent yet interconnected: in spirit, mind—and body. Depending on who we are, what we want, and what we value, we assign different weights to these axes of being when appraising a potential mate.
While some people predominantly measure beauty by the higher standards of mind and spirit, others, like myself, do so, by the body. Beasts. Nevertheless, I’d rather be honest about my materialistic mating criteria granted that my carnality is bridled by the intention to one day marry the right girl—albeit a hot one. But before you stone me for hypocrisy hear me this: physical lust is no substitute for spiritual love! I couldn’t imagine marrying someone who I can’t connect with—pardon the expression—in more than one way.
In Bible talk, love is enjoyed on different levels that correspond to the different dimensions of the human organism: agape—love in the spirit; fileo—love in fellowship; and eros—love in the flesh. I firmly believe that a happy marriage should be based on mutual satisfaction on all three levels of love, and hence, the importance of getting to know somebody before the big day. No, I’m not talking about that kind of knowing—to borrow Bible terms once again—but knowing somebody well enough to know that you know.
That said, I encourage people to go out. Meet and mingle. Get to know people. You’ll never know if you don’t.
Photo credit: Paulette Samayoa https://www.instagram.com/paulette_samayoa/